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  • Nigel Langford

Who Am I Walking With?

Updated: Dec 31, 2019

I think it may be the fact that I am such an extrovert but I don’t tend to enjoy being alone. I am aware that for some people, the quietude and peace re-energises them for what is to come. Even when driving somewhere I find myself enjoying the journey so much more when someone is chatting away to me in the passenger seat. This is just my preference, and as a friend once told me, your preference should never become your prejudice.



Obviously we are all wired in different ways but despite this I believe it is really important to do life with people that we love and trust. Not defaulting to isolation when things go wrong but wrestling it through with friends. I can point back to the most difficult moments and see that who I chose to walk it through with really mattered. When I was really struggling with life about ten years ago I had two friends who I regularly met to chat with and receive prayer or advice. I still meet them to this day and they always ask me how I’m doing and what is happening in my world. Jesus and those two friends saved my life!

James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.


I love the fact that Jesus meets me and heals me. Yet I never really understood how the people doing life with me could bring a tremendous amount of restoration as well. Bring those things out in the open, pray for one another and be healed. I really want to be a part of something like that!

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How do I create something like that I hear you say. Well these are some key questions that I ask myself regularly:


1. Who do I listen to?

I think this is critical. When I say listen I mean hear and act upon. We can hear a lot of noise and voices but what do I allow to go deep within? Do I have a discernment process that filters through all the activity? Am I even aware of who I listen to or is it all fuzzy to me?

2. Who do I receive investments from?

If I am going to receive input and counsel from people then I need to know that they have walked that road as well. Head advice is good but heart experience is powerful. I don’t judge but I do look at the fruit – practitioners who are walking the talk help me enormously. I look at them and say to myself, ‘they are still standing, so maybe I can get to the other side of this too!’

3. Who do I confess my sin to?

Someone once told me that they tell Jesus about all their stuff so why should they tell anyone else? Well my answer would be – because I find this way of life encouraged in the scriptures. I am not advocating that we give all of ourselves to everyone but that we find people we love and trust. Those who will be truthful with us because they love us and that we can be as real as possible. Living like an x-ray! Where we end up in life often depends on who we receive investments from, who we hang out with and who we listen to.



One of the major issues in the world today is loneliness and isolation. Many feel that they have no one to get through life with. I think this is one of the most powerful messages of the story of the Bible. Come to the table, meet Jesus, meet friends and do life together. Eat, drink, cry, laugh, pray, worship, let things go, embrace new opportunities and ensure there are people alongside as you go. Even more powerful is that the school of hard knocks you attended could bring inspiration to someone around you. They can look at you and see how Jesus helped you – now freedom is extending beyond your own experience.


I am also aware that many of us have had our confidences betrayed before, we have trusted and our hearts have been ripped up publicly. I often find the voice of Jesus asking me if I am brave enough to go again.


Am I brave enough to embrace vulnerability again, to give my heart to him and others again! This road can be such a narrow one but I would encourage you to walk in it. Who are you walking with? Don’t do it alone…

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