What am I creating?

As I contemplated this blog I took stock of how gentle, wise and kind my mother was

to everyone. She was calm, considerate and very patient, she had to be with a child

like myself. I always remember, in her gentle way, telling me to behave and ‘stop

creating.’ I wasn’t quite sure what she meant at the time but I realised I was

responsible for making something happen. I had the distinct opportunity to ‘create’

an atmosphere, to think and act in a certain way that would get a response of some

kind. I always knew I had gone too far when my Mum teased me by looking in the

kitchen drawers for that wooden spoon. It never got used but I knew it was her way

of sending me a message, maybe recreating something?

Some people can create an atmosphere without saying a word, have you ever been

in a room and a person walks in changing the whole atmosphere? No words needed!

We can create just by being present. Our face, hands, body posture, sometimes

nothing needs to be said. The first thing God did after creating the heavens and the

earth was to create space in a garden. A place for us to subdue and multiply. We are

created to create. It is in our DNA and make up, when God made us he engineered

mini versions of Himself. The same voice that spoke the universe into being

breathed that same creative power into us. In Exodus 35, God asks the Israelites to

build a tabernacle, a place for them to meet. It says that, “The Lord has given the

people special skills as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple, and

scarlet thread on fine linen cloth, and weavers. Many excelling as craftsmen and as

designers.” So God has given us many gifts to design, to be artists, creative

geniuses and make a mark in the world.

The real question isn’t whether we have the power to create but what are we actually

creating? In our world at present it feels like there are voices and powers that are

seeking to divide, hate, enslave and bully. We see refugees fleeing war torn

countries, others desperate for a better life. Numbers of people divided by

geography, politics and religion. The power to create is not always held by those who

have good intentions. I don’t believe we have to be reactive, we can be proactive

engineers of love, kindness, compassion and justice. Do we stay silent or do we ask

ourselves – what are we creating and how do I respond?

Maybe in your life you feel that everything is coming at you, that you have no

answers or hope. You could be staring at impossibly difficult scenarios. I hear you

and I acknowledge it. I remember when Nicky and I were trying for a family and

nothing happened. Even when all our friends and family were advancing their tribes!

The most difficult day came when we miscarried on our wedding anniversary. It was so painful and there were no words, there still aren’t when we

reflect. All we could think was why we couldn’t create something new and precious, a

dream closely held for so long. Yet over time God has enabled us to create healing

and healthy environments from our pain. We didn’t have to be buried under all the

disappointment. We could see and feel something that turned ashes into beauty.

There is no miracle baby at the end of our story. It has been a journey of crying over

an 8-12 week scan photo, the reality of releasing a child you haven’t met, to the

climax of an adoption journey. We have spent most of the last few weeks looking at

our house and planning a forever loving home. In all things we have committed to

creating beautiful things from brokenness, we don’t always succeed, but it is in our

hearts. That’s what my life looks like – a mosaic of broken glass that He has brought

together. It has a haunting beauty when Jesus shines through it. I hope this blog

gives you hope. Keep going and realise that Jesus is reaching his hand out, to

create beauty and hope from whatever surrounds you. What are you creating?